I-Search

The Ins and Outs of
Potty Training

By Samantha Jackson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Table of Contents

 

·       Title Page

·       Table of Contents………………………………………………………………………2

·       Summary……………………………………………………………………………………3

·       Background…………………………………………………………………………………4

·       Why I am writing…………………………………………………………………………5

·       What I already know……………………………………………………………………6

·       The Search…………………………………………………………………………………8

·       What I’ve Learned……………………………………………………………………..10

·         The Future…………………………………………………………………………………12

·         References…………………………………………………………………………………13

 

Summary

            Gabriel is 3 years old and for the past year or so, my parents and I have been trying to toilet train him. It’s been a rocky road and at this point, we fear that there is no end in sight with the diapers. The purpose of this I-search is to discover proven methods and helpful tips that will aide us in potty training.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Background

At some point in our lives, usually between two to four years old, we all learn to control our bladder and bowel functions. I was almost two when I could officially say “I’m a big kid now”.  As I cannot remember those times, I looked to the one person who would know best; my mother. I was a very easy child to teach. M&M’s were my reward for when I did the good deed. Potty training for me began when I saw the other kids at day care using the “big potty” and I figured out how to remove my diaper. I was two and a half year’s old, nearly three. Most of the time, I would wait until we were in a public place, such as the beach, and my mother would have to chase my bare-naked booty across the sand in order to get a new one on.

 One of her favorite stories to tell to my friends is the time that I “had an accident” in the bathtub when I was about three and a half year’s old. She was in my room preparing my night clothes when she heard me start to cry and call for her.  Upon entering the bathroom, she noticed I was frantically trying to climb up the back side of the tub. In the tub was a single floating brown mass. I was terrified of it because it was moving closer. My mother did what any good mother would do and laughed a lot before finally rescuing me. 

She was a single mother, who raised me on her own until I was six. My step-father then entered into the picture and when I was seventeen years old, we were all blessed with the miracle that is my little brother, Gabriel.  So far, he has been meeting each maturation marker within the correct age range. He started eating solid foods at 6 months old, began walking at 11 months old, his first words occurred around a year old.  He will be three in November and we are all taking turns with the potty training.

Why am I writing?

Raising a child is new to me. I do not have children of my own, nor have I ever spent a considerable amount of time around children to say that I had a part in raising them. This is my first experience. It is full of surprises and frustrations, especially potty training. I cannot figure out the proper method or technique that other parents and older siblings use. My parents are about as lost as I am. My father hasn’t potty trained a child in roughly thirty years and for my mother is has been a little over nineteen years. I want to find research that will assist me in this process and make the learning experience run smoothly. My initial questions are as follows:

•          Are boys more difficult than girls to potty train?

•          Is it better to use underwear or pull-ups?

•          What reward systems should I set up for every time he uses the toilet?

•          Are potty chairs better to use or should we adjust him to the actual toilet?

I feel that if I can answer these questions that I will be able to successfully teach my brother how to regularly use the toilet, or a potty chair, instead of diapers. We are already partially on the road to achieving this goal. Gabriel recognizes the need to go and tells us so, yet he still messes in his diapers. Much to my distaste.

 

 

What I already know

•          Are boys more difficult than girls to potty train?

                        Most of my friends and family that have kids past the potty-training age have said that girls are harder to potty train. I have no experience with female toddlers, so I cannot confirm if this is true. However, I do know that teaching a little boy to pee standing up is a lot harder when you are in fact not equipped with the same tools.

•          Is it better to use underwear or pull-ups?

                        Pull-ups are absorbent like a diaper, but they slide on like underwear. The downfall with pull-ups is that the child will still feel like they are wearing a diaper and won’t always pull them down to sit on the toilet. On the other hand, if I was to use strictly underwear, I’d have to be washing them constantly and keep the mop on hand at all times. I have already tried this method several times and Gabriel seems to forget or ignore that he has to pull them down to go potty. When I leave him naked from the waist down, he does fantastic because there is nothing there so he knows he must sit down. In that aspect, I have succeeded but this new process will be the most difficult hurdle to overcome.

•          What reward systems should I set up for every time he uses the toilet?

                        I can’t use Cheerios as we use those for “target practice” in the toilet. I don’t think it would go over well if I then provided him with the same thing he just peed on.  I have tried cookies but then he got used to just sitting on his chair and pretending to go and expecting a cookie. High fives and praise works well but “the experts” and “veterans” say that a physical reward, mostly edible, is the best to use.

•          Are potty chairs better to use or should we adjust him to the actual toilet?

                        I do not know much about this. We have a potty chair and we have a toilet seat adjusted to fit his small tush. He prefers the potty chair since we keep it in the living room for quick access. The toilet seat we save for upstairs, when he is playing in his room or in the tub. He does not like being helped climbing on the toilet, most often than not so most accidents occur when he is attempting to get onto the toilet to relieve himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Search

 The Internet has a plethora of sources for this. The problem is finding sources that are credible and have useful information. I know I could theoretically use anything but I wanted to use something that had sources and didn't look like it had been written by someone who had never ever been around a child.

The first article online that I found seemed credible enough but the information was very vague and didn't exactly answer my question. I kept the link just in case I could use it later on but as of right now, it isn't something I find important. The next two articles were of no help at all as they only talked about potty training girls. If Gabriel had been Gabrielle, that would be nice information but the parts are a bit different.

My next plan of action was to use Marvel to pull up journal articles that had some heavy credentials behind them. The first article I found, “Potty Stalling” by Charlotte Latvala, was short but gave three very precise tips. My hopes rose a bit that I’d discover something helpful yet. I came up with five more articles and out of them, only one was incredibly useless. In fact, I was surprised Marvel would even have it in their databases as something worthy of being put into a research paper. My favorite article out of the six that I found on Marvel would have to be Anne Krueger’s “3 Easy Stages”. I was impressed with the information she provided and she gave straight-forward answers.

            My neighbor has a son that is a year younger than Gabriel and he also picked up an interest in potty training. I asked her a bit about what she did but she couldn't give me concrete answers because he would only go on the toilet at the baby-sitter's house. Even interviewing my mom gave little help as apparently I potty trained myself at the baby sitter's also.

The biggest piece of information came from Gabe's new doctor. This wasn’t so surprising but it contradicted some of what the articles said. However, since this was the most recent information I thought that it could be the most useful.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What I’ve Learned

As soon as Gabriel turned two, my parents jumped on the “No Diapers” bandwagon. They were eager to save the twenty dollars a week it cost to buy pull-ups and to stop having to carry around a luggage bag full of wipes and diapers and powder. However, he just wouldn’t cooperate. He was almost afraid of the toilet. Whenever we brought up using the potty or switching to big boy pants, he threw a fit and wouldn’t come near us. We let it go until a little before his third birthday, when he began telling us that he needed to use the potty.

It was an exciting moment and I jumped on the bandwagon with my parents. We had learned that you couldn’t push a child to make the transition; they had to make the decision themselves. (Tislner) I wish we had known this when we first began trying to potty-train him. I had no idea that it could cause major set-backs if we pushed too much over the issue. (Krueger)

The first step we tried was using cloth diapers. They were thicker than underpants but still felt like cloth so he could get used to the feeling. We waited until a day when we were all home so that we could take turns. When he woke up in the morning, we stripped him down and we made a big deal over the new cloth diapers. Gabriel was excited and jumped around but not even a half an hour later, he had peed in them. They were not as absorbent as we thought. Luckily, we have a wood floor so we only had to mop up the trail he left.

My mother was not to be deterred. She put a smile on her face and got a fresh cloth diaper and we started all over. This time however, we tried putting him on the potty first before getting him back in clothes. (Tislner) He refused to go and instead just sat there staring at us. When we got him back into the cloth diaper, he decided he was going to poop. It was absolutely disgusting and I was entirely turned off of the whole process. It only took a few more similar incidents like this to get him back into regular diapers.

We also tried letting him run around the house entire nude to increase his awareness of the urge to go. (Haas) It seemed to work and he’d run to his potty to sit and pee without any prompting what so ever. However, if he had to poop, he would hold it and fuss until we put a pull-up back on him. For some reason, the idea of letting it all out on the potty was a terrifying thought. We tried talking to him about it and show that we went on the potty without being afraid but nothing worked. (Latvala)

My parents were flustered and didn’t know what to do. We decided to take a break and give up just in case we stressed him out also. (Latvala) My neighbor was having similar troubles with her son, who was about 10 months younger than Gabe. When he was home and they tried to potty train him, he would decide to use the floor or the laundry basket instead of the toilet. While this information was interesting and could potentially be looked into for answers, it didn't relate to my brother. Gabriel doesn't go to a baby sitter nor is he trying to relieve himself on anything but the toilet or in his pull-ups.

Gabriel’s doctor gave us the final piece of advice and effectively put a stop to our efforts. She told us that typically boys do not start potty training until 3 1/2 year’s old. Gabe did just turn 3 and it's great that he shows an interest but he may just not be ready. She told us that we should stop with the potty training and let him take the reins. If he says he wants to use the toilet, then we can let him but we shouldn't be placing him on it every half hour or continuously asking him if he has to go. It could turn him off of wanting to transition and put a setback in his development.

The Future

In the end, we were not able to potty train Gabriel successfully. He is just not ready even though he shows some signs for wanting to graduate to underwear. He still occasionally tells us when he needs to pee and he has even started using the potty for bowel movements but he prefers his pull-ups over everything.

Krueger said “The two of you can work through the following steps in months, weeks, or days--you're on your child's timetable. If she balks at any of these steps, back up to the previous one and take it easy for a while. Don't be surprised if she even asks to go back to her diapers. If she does, let her. Take this as a sign that your child knows herself, rather than a sign that you or she has failed. Continue to talk casually about using the potty and wait until she indicates that she's ready to try again.”

            I believe that she is right on the money about this. No matter how much we desire Gabriel to be done with pull-ups, the choice is his ultimately and we can do nothing but make him feel comfortable and wait until he is absolutely ready. Even if he takes until he is four years old like Julie Tilsner’s daughter, which I suspect will happen, at least he isn’t too far off of the milestone chart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References

Brown, Stephanie. "What Should My Child Wear for Potty Training?" About.com Toddlers and Twos. About.com, 2012. Web. 21 Oct. 2012. <http://babyparenting.about.com/cs/pottytraining/f/underwear.htm>.

Some of the information in this article I already knew but I liked that it gave both pros and cons of each type.

Carter, Molly. "Potty Training Tips: How to Help Your Child Feel Comfortable with the Potty." Potty Training. Kidica, 2012. Web. 21 Oct. 2012. <http://www.kidica.com/raising-children/parenting-tips/toilet-training.aspx>.

This site didn't really help me at all. I am only including it because I looked at it and read the information. The comments from people were more interesting and of use.

"How to Potty Train Boys." Potty Training Tips and Products. Potty Training Concepts, 2003. Web. 21 Oct. 2012. <http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/A-How-to-Potty-Training-Boys.html>.

This website was not very useful. I already knew that potty training standing up could be more confusing for boys. We are teaching Gabe to sit down before teaching him to aim.

Latvala, Charlotte. "Potty Stalling." Parenting 17.1 (2003): 153. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.

This was a very short article. I was surprised when I opened it and found out that it was only about a page or so long. However it gave three very helpful tips and I am quite pleased that it didn’t beat around the bush and got right to the point.

Tilsner, Julie. "Potty Success!." Parenting 16.7 (2002): 146. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.

I greatly enjoyed this article. It reassured me that Gabriel won’t be in diapers forever. While Gabe doesn’t have the same stubborn streak as Julie’s daughter, there are still similarities.

Haas, Derek. "Get This Potty Started." Men's Health (10544836) 23.7 (2008): 96-99. Health Source: Nursing/Academic Edition. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.

While this was an article intended for fathers, I still greatly enjoyed reading it. A part of me was hesitant when he mentioned he bought his son a doll but if it works, why the hell not?

Krueger, Anne. "3 Easy Stages." Parenting 15.3 (2001): 114. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.

Stage 3 provided some great insight for me. I felt reassured that even though Gabe is now 3, he isn’t falling behind on the milestone markers.

Hunt, Katrina B. "REDBOOK Readers Reveal: Potty-Training Secrets." Redbook 206.2 (2006): 144. MAS Ultra - School Edition. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.

This was pretty much useless. I was expecting a nice article about successful ways to potty-train and all I got were three quotes from parents. There were no “secrets”. I am including it simply because I read it.

Rosemond, John. "Living with Children: A no-Nonsense Approach Will Solve Family's Potty Problem." Capital: 0. Jan 17 2008. ProQuest Newsstand. Web. 10 Dec. 2012 .

This was incredibly interesting for me. Gabriel is having trouble with everything mentioned in this article. While the method seems a bit harsh, it worked. I don’t know if I could simply lock Gabe in the bathroom as he loves to get into things while in there.

Process essay

People-watching is an art. There are certain steps that must be followed so that you don’t get caught or look like a complete freak. I pride myself on watching people. There is so much to learn about a person when they think no one is watching. I’m not talking about being a peeping tom and staring into windows. I’m referring to standing in a busy place and observing the people around. It begins obtaining a prop, finding a busy area, and selecting a place to observe from.

                Props should ideally blend in with the area you are in. My favorites to use are a book and headphones, with or without music playing. You can bring both most anywhere and look inconspicuous. I mostly use headphones as they discourage people from talking to you if you happen to make eye contact, and you can pretend to be listening to the music while staring “off into space”.  A book can hinder your sight and promote people to make conversation if they happen to like that particular read. The worst thing you can do is start up a conversation while observing others. Conversations tend to be riddle with false personalities and lies, small or large. The more people in the area, however, and the less they will strike up a conversation.

                Finding a busy area isn’t particularly hard. The most common ones I frequent would be a mall or coffee shop, like Tim Horton’s. Malls provide a variety of people of all ages and there is a lot of space to be unnoticeable. People are generally forgiving if they catch me staring for too long. After all, they people-watch in a way also. The interesting thing I have discovered about malls is that people go to them in the hopes to be noticed. They are not there to simply shop, they want others to see them and wonder what they could be buying. In coffee shops, you generally only see older people coming and staying. Older people have similar tendencies so it grows boring watching them after a while. When they arrive, they smile and wave or settle into a table alone and stare out the window. They don’t move too often except to take a bite of a muffin or a sip of their drink. When they leave, there are a lot of hugs and kisses passed around or a sad air about them that indicates they are lonely. Both places provide little spots to relax and observe.

                Malls have the most places between the two, of course. My favorites would have to be the sitting area in the center of the mall and the corner table at a coffee shop. The center of the mall has the most activity since people must pass through to get to another section. Sometimes they idle and chat with friends or take a rest on one of the many benches. Most of the time, they meander along and look at the stores around them. The corner table of a coffee shop is most comfortable as I know that no one will be behind me and I almost always have a whole view of the shop. I can take a sip of my drink and watch people over the brim of my cup, or pretend I am looking for a friend. The worst place you could sit would be in one wing of the mall or in the center of a coffee shop. You miss too many people and it becomes obvious you are watching.

                The best advice I can give to potential people-watchers is to befriend the staff of the place you choose to frequent the most. If you gain their trust, they are not as likely to suspect you of doing anything weird and will leave you alone most of the time. Always have a prop, always choose a busy place, and be wise about the observation point. I pride myself on thinking that I can figure out most people just by watching them when they don’t suspect it. I have also developed the knack of locating other people-watchers like myself. When that happens, we normally share a smile because we are just so damn clever.

Example Essay #2

Note: I originally planned this as a process essay. But it turned more into an example essay. I'm curious if there is one that works better than the other? For some reason I have an incredibly hard time trying to write an example essay.

                I have a particular weakness for bad boys. They have a certain way about them that just catches me right by the throat. I am easily susceptible to their smooth talking and aloof demeanor. My longest and worst relationship was with the worst type of bad boy. For three years, I was addicted to Lucas’ very presence with moments of clarity surfacing when he was not near. However, it only took one text message or glance at a picture for me to throw out every shred of doubt that accumulated. He held me hostage with his confidence, bullshitting skills, and the feeling that I could fix him.

                I still remember the first day I laid eyes on him. I was leaning against the school walls and this man brimming with self-confidence and assurance sauntered up to me with the goofiest grin on his face. “Hey, I’m Luke.” He kicked my shoe and flashed a wink to his friends in the hallway near me. That there should have been a warning signal to run very far away, but I was already mesmerized. He had the coldest blue steel eyes I had ever seen. They would change color depending on his mood and I was lost in them, always gauging his mood and acting accordingly. Within days of our introduction, when we began talking on the phone late at night, he would tell me that I would fall madly in love with him. “And there is nothing you can do to stop it.” I wanted to disagree with him but I knew that it was true. I was a hopeless mess. And his words were like silk against my skin.

                When we began hanging out more, he spun a tale of heartbreak and misery over his previous girlfriend. We would discuss her and his feelings for her in depth all while he insisted that he had begun to have feelings for me. What person would stick around knowing that she was being played? Apparently, me. Whenever I would start to give up and tell him that I couldn’t play his game anymore, he’d hold me close and beg me to believe that he was being sincere. The girl, who I’ll dub ‘M’, kept meeting him and “pulled” him under “her spell”. Later on, I found out there was yet another girl, who I’ll dub ‘E’, that had a hold of his heart. I felt it was my calling in life to pick up the broken pieces of him and hold them together.

                I just knew that if I stuck with him long enough I could heal his wounds and we’d finally have a chance to be happy. We’d spend hours talking about his feelings for these two ladies and I’d listen to stories about both of them. I’d offer advice and insight and council him on his actions. I’d smile and keep my personal thoughts and feelings to myself, in case I upset him. I did everything I could to keep him happy. When I angered him, he’d pull away and all of my work to fix that precious heart would be lost. I was desperate to solve his problems, ignoring the pain and suffering I was going through.

                In the end, I forced myself to end all contact with him. It was the only way to stop the mind games. His confidence in the control he held over me was too powerful along with his soft words that would bring me to my knees. I fell in love with a man who was hurting from the shadows that haunted him. He was the worst type of bad boy. They seek your sympathy and capture your love. They feed off of your soul and fill you back up when you are near depletion. It’s been a year since we last spoke and even longer since we last saw each other and I know that if he were to try to take me back, I would run scampering like a mouse after a piece of cheese. I wouldn’t bother looking at the trap that surrounded the cheese. Nor would I sense the crushing blow to my very being until it was too late. I simply have an incredible weakness for bad boys, especially the one named Lucas.

I-search 1st Draft

The Ins and Outs of
Potty Training

By Samantha Jackson

 

Background

At some point in our lives, usually between two to four years old, we all learn to control our bladder and bowel functions. I was almost two when I could officially say “I’m a big kid now”.  As I cannot remember those times, I looked to the one person who would know best; my mother. I was a very easy child to teach. M&M’s were my reward for when I did the good deed. Potty training for me began when I saw the other kids at day care using the “big potty” and I figured out how to remove my diaper. Most of the time, I would wait until we were in a public place, such as the beach, and my mother would have to chase my bare-naked booty across the sand in order to get a new one on.

 One of her favorite stories to tell to my friends is the time that I “had an accident” in the bathtub. She was in my room preparing my night clothes when she heard me start to cry and call for her.  Upon entering the bathroom, she noticed I was frantically trying to climb up the back side of the tub. In the tub was a single floating brown mass. I was terrified of it because it was moving closer. My mother did what any good mother would do and laughed a lot before finally rescuing me. 

She was a single mother, who raised me on her own until I was six. My step-father then stepped into the picture and when I was seventeen years old, we were all blessed with the miracle that is my little brother, Gabriel. He will be three in November and we are all taking turns with the potty training.   

Why am I writing?

Raising a child is new to me. I do not have children of my own, nor have I ever spent a considerable amount of time around children to say that I had a part in raising them. This is my first experience. It is full of surprises and frustrations, especially potty training. I cannot figure out the proper method or technique that other parents and older siblings use. My parents are about as lost as I am. My father hasn’t potty trained a child in roughly thirty years and for my mother is has been a little over nineteen years. I want to find research that will assist me in this process and make the learning experience run smoothly. My initial questions are as follows:

•          Are boys more difficult than girls to potty train?

•          Is it better to use underwear or pull-ups?

•          What reward systems should I set up for every time he uses the toilet?

•          Are potty chairs better to use or should we adjust him to the actual toilet?

I feel that if I can answer these questions that I will be able to successfully teach my brother how to regularly use the toilet, or a potty chair, instead of diapers. We are already partially on the road to achieving this goal. Gabriel recognizes the need to go and tells us so, yet he still messes in his diapers. Much to my distaste.

What I already know

•          Are boys more difficult than girls to potty train?

                        Most of my friends and family that have kids past the potty-training age have said that girls are harder to potty train. I have no experience with female toddlers, so I cannot confirm if this is true. However, I do know that teaching a little boy to pee standing up is a lot harder when you are in fact not equipped with the same tools.

•          Is it better to use underwear or pull-ups?

                        Pull-ups are absorbent like a diaper, but they slide on like underwear. The downfall with pull-ups is that the child will still feel like they are wearing a diaper and won’t always pull them down to sit on the toilet. On the other hand, if I was to use strictly underwear, I’d have to be washing them constantly and keep the mop on hand at all times. I have already tried this method several times and Gabriel seems to forget or ignore that he has to pull them down to go potty. When I leave him naked from the waist down, he does fantastic because there is nothing there so he knows he must sit down. In that aspect, I have succeeded but this new process will be the most difficult hurdle to overcome.

•          What reward systems should I set up for every time he uses the toilet?

                        I can’t use Cheerios as we use those for “target practice” in the toilet. I don’t think it would go over well if I then provided him with the same thing he just peed on.  I have tried cookies but then he got used to just sitting on his chair and pretending to go and expecting a cookie. High fives and praise works well but “the experts” and “veterans” say that a physical reward, mostly edible, is the best to use.

•          Are potty chairs better to use or should we adjust him to the actual toilet?

                        I do not know much about this. We have a potty chair and we have a toilet seat adjusted to fit his small tush. He prefers the potty chair since we keep it in the living room for quick access. The toilet seat we save for upstairs, when he is playing in his room or in the tub. He does not like being helped climbing on the toilet, most often than not so most accidents occur when he is attempting to get onto the toilet to relieve himself.

 

The Search

I suppose I am not entirely clear on how to write this section. I looked at some of the examples provided online and I was curious if I could set it up like the pervious section but how I found the answers? I’m not sure if it’s okay to mimic the section before or not. Also, if I understood correctly, the “search” that I gave would actually be more like my answer or should I change that around too? I have a feeling I mixed both in together so I have to find a way to seperate it. For now, it's under 'The Answer' section.

 

The Answer

Potty training was an interesting topic to decide upon when thinking about my Isearch. I originally wanted to do something about Necrotizing Fasciitis, Breeding Gargoyle Geckos, and something about trying to determine if my Bearded Dragon was sick and how I could cure her. None of these choices panned out so I was left with the only thing that I was currently doing. Potty training Gabriel.

    The Internet has a plethora of sources for this. The problem is finding sources that are credible and have useful information. I know I could theoretically use anything but I wanted to use something that had sources and didn't look like it had been written by someone who had never ever been around a child.

    The first article online that I found seemed credible enough but the information was very vague and didn't exactly answer my question. I kept the link just in case I could use it later on but as of right now, it isn't something I find important. The next few articles were of no help at all as they only talked about potty training girls. If Gabriel had been Gabrielle, that would be nice information but the parts are a bit different.

    My neighbor has a son that is a year younger than Gabriel and he also picked up an interest in potty training. I asked her a bit about what she did but she couldn't give me concrete answers because he would only go on the toilet at the baby-sitter's house. When he was home and they tried to potty train him, he would decide to use the floor or the laundry basket instead of the toilet. While this information was interesting and could potentially be looked into for answers, it didn't relate to my brother. Gabriel doesn't go to a baby sitter nor is he trying to relieve himself on anything but the toilet or in his pull-ups. Even interviewing my mom gave little help as apparently I potty trained myself at the baby sitter's also.

    The biggest piece of information came from Gabe's new doctor. She told us that typically boys do not start potty training until 3 and a half years old. Gabe did just turn three and it's great that he shows an interest but he may just not be ready. She told us that we should stop with the potty training and let him take the reins. If he says he wants to use the toilet, then we can let him but we shouldn't be placing him on it every half hour or continuously asking him if he has to go. It could turn him off of wanting to transition and put a setback in his development.

    I still want to get a hold of some books to possibly get some more information on the psychology behind potty training but as of right now, the quest of potty training Gabriel is on a hold.

The Search

     Potty training was an interesting topic to decide upon when thinking about my Isearch. I originally wanted to do something about Necrotizing Fasciitis, Breeding Gargoyle Geckos, and something about trying to determine if my Bearded Dragon was sick and how I could cure her. None of these choices panned out so I was left with the only thing that I was currently doing. Potty training Gabriel.
    The Internet has a plethora of sources for this. The problem is finding sources that are credible and have useful information. I know I could theoretically use anything but I wanted to use something that had sources and didn't look like it had been written by someone who had never ever been around a child.
    The first article online that I found seemed credible enough but the information was very vague and didn't exactly answer my question. I kept the link just in case I could use it later on but as of right now, it isn't something I find important. The next few articles were of no help at all as they only talked about potty training girls. If Gabriel had been Gabrielle, that would be nice information but the parts are a bit different.
    My neighbor has a son that is a year younger than Gabriel and he also picked up an interest in potty training. I asked her a bit about what she did but she couldn't give me concrete answers because he would only go on the toilet at the baby-sitter's house. When he was home and they tried to potty train him, he would decide to use the floor or the laundry basket instead of the toilet. While this information was interesting and could potentially be looked into for answers, it didn't relate to my brother. Gabriel doesn't go to a baby sitter nor is he trying to relieve himself on anything but the toilet or in his pull-ups. Even interviewing my mom gave little help as apparently I potty trained myself at the baby sitter's also.
    The biggest piece of information came from Gabe's new doctor. She told us that typically boys do not start potty training until 3 and a half years old. Gabe did just turn three and it's great that he shows an interest but he may just not be ready. She told us that we should stop with the potty training and let him take the reigns. If he says he wants to use the toilet, then we can let him but we shouldn't be placing him on it every half hour or continuously asking him if he has to go. It could turn him off of wanting to transition and put a set back in his development.
    I still want to get a hold of some books to possibly get some more information on the psychology behind potty training but as of right now, the quest of potty training Gabriel is on a hold.

Example essay

     Three years ago, my life took an interesting turn. I was no longer the only "child" in the house. I had to share my parents and my space with a tiny little boy who stole my heart the first moment I saw him. Watching Gabriel grow up and helping to raise him has not been easy, especially now, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. He often throws tantrums over little things and drives me batty with his high-pitched screaming and non-stop hitting and pinching. Gabe has no respect for his toys or objects around him, not matter how many times we correct him or place him in time out when he destroys something. And yet, he has the ability to be so sweet when he suddenly wants to cuddle or sit in my lap so that I can read him a book.
     Whenever one of his tantrums begin, I immediately steel myself for the squealing and physical attacks. They can be triggered by something as small as a tower of blocks falling over. They usually start with him yelling 'No, no, no, no, no' which is quickly followed by kicking out at whatever made him mad and throwing whatever his little hands can get a hold of. If it happens to be one of us that made him mad, he tries to hit and pinch us until we have to leave the room until he calms down. No matter the reason for the tantrum, something usually is damaged or broken.
     In one of his more recent tantrums, he got a hold of my dad's precious tablet (which my dad had left within reach when he went to get a drink) and threw it onto the floor. The tablet still works but the case is chipped and doesn't fit right anymore. The screen has a few scratches and can be a bit jittery if you use it for a long period of time. There was one tantrum, about 4 months ago, where he snatched my phone out of my hand while I was talking and chucked it across the room. The screen cracked into pieces and the sliding portion of the phone was so bent that it wouldn't open any longer. After both of these incidents, he knew he was in trouble and started crying because he that.
     He turns into a sweet little prince and wants to be held after a tantrum. No amount of consoling will work until he is sitting in someones lap and hugging them. If he is put into time out, he especially wants to be held after. I normally cave to his demands, as I can't bear the sound of him crying for long. Once he is finally calm, he loves to tuck his head under my chin and have me tell him a story or read him a book. Most of the time, I am never able to get through the story before he is off and playing again.
     While dealing with these tantrums is difficult and often times makes me want to throw one, I love this little boy dearly. He may scream, hit, kick, destroy objects, and demand everything including the sun but his laughter and the good times make it all worth it. I like to imagine how he will be when he is older. Will he still be this difficult or is this just a phase?

Process Essay

     Thanksgiving in my house is always a complicated event. The planning of such is a battle between my mother and I. She wishes to have a "modern and fun" Thanksgiving while I prefer a "simple and traditional" Thanksgiving. My father avoids adding his opinion at all costs. Ultimately, he agrees with me but to choose a side would be an all out Arias Household War. We have three steps to planning Thanksgiving. It sounds easy enough but in reality, it is stressful and irritating.
   We always start off with how many guests we will want to invite. This year, I want to invite some of the friends that I have made that are not from our country. My friends have expressed interest in American holidays and I wish to help them experience each one as much as possible. This would put a maximum of 12 people on my house. My house is big enough to accommodate such a number so that isn't a big issue. My mother's idea of Thanksgiving is just the 4 of us. Needless to say, we are already at a disagreement. I am hoping that we can come to a compromise, which is a lot easier to do with the number of guests rather than what we will eat.
     As I said before, I like a traditional thanksgiving with turkey, cranberry sauce, pies, green bean casserole, the works. My father is a big fan of this also, and especially loves pumpkin pie to eat for dessert. My mother is a completely different story. She hasn't indicated what she wants to do this year but last year she wanted to have a seafood thanksgiving. Crabs, lobster, shrimp, fish and whatever you can make out of them. I love seafood but not for Thanksgiving; it doesn't even sound right to me. In the end, I won out and got my traditional Thanksgiving but I worry that this year she will come up with something ridiculous like having a tofu turkey. The decision on how much to make always revolves around how many people we have and the recipes we want to make.
     My brother and his girlfriend came to visit last year along with my boyfriend at the time and his son so we had a full house. It was absolutely fantastic. I loved having my loved one surround me. It was rarely quiet and someone was always laughing. It felt very cozy and warm. We ended up with a huge turkey that we got on sale and the staples for making a traditional dinner plus some extra recipes that we decided we wanted to make. It was too much food, in retro spec, but at the time we believed we would need it since we had so many people in the house. I was able to cook the turkey but my mother held her ground with every other dish. She wouldn't let me into the kitchen unless I was checking my turkey and even then she made sure I touched nothing else. If I happened to stir the gravy or taste the stuffing, I was hit with a wooden spoon. This year, I am hoping to be able to make a few more dishes and the turkey. However, with the memory of those hits, I am not sure how long I will be able to hold my ground.
     Thanksgiving is a fun event in my house, despite the preparation stress. Once everything is all said and done and the meal is complete, everyone clambers around the dining room table to fill their plates and then we move off to the living room to watch football. The dogs get scraps that fall, and the cats often get bits of turkey. Gabriel moves from plate to plate, taking spoonfuls of this or that. It's too early to tell how this Thanksgiving will go but I know that, no matter what, I will be able to look forward to sitting together and creating new memories.